Road to the Horizon

Updated: Nov 5, 2019


We are on a tiny blue speck traveling in space on a journey of self-discovery. Darkness has an insatiable hunger, whereas it's hard to tell if visible light represents the end of a tunnel or only a glimmer of hope leading to a dead end. Either way, go gentle and sail smoothly into that dark night. The vast majority of space consists of black skies with tiny sparkling stars in the distant galaxy. Get comfortable with the dark. Taste and embody the agony of dying stars millions of miles away from any sign of hope. We look at the sky and ponder our place in the cosmos. And when we finally get there, we look down at our past selves, waiting for the night to guide us back to the vigor life of our luminous blue planet.


A crack in a spaceship could blow up the whole thing. At first, we get stressed about our lifeline as the pressure starts wrecking the inside. Then we realize it's not just us in the journey, we're all on the same cruise to new horizons. Some are panicking; some are suffocating; some are trying hard to save the spaceship, and some go for a headstart float into space looking for a sanctuary. Dive down into the night and search for your saving light. A lot of our healing has to be done in solitude. Conscious afflictions will wake you up to a life that's different from how you knew it.


You can climb mountain peaks, dance with Massai tribes, entertain the gifted, practice altruism, drink from the Amazon fountains, and reason with fading light, but there's more to life than one answer to seek our origin. To find answers in religion is like a drop of water in an ocean of solace. To seek clarity, we read the holy books and visit temples, but we must also go through the exercise of embracing our humanity by including both believers and non-believers. For as believers promote unity, and non-believers promote kindness. The devious rift caused by indifference falls in the crack creating an earth tremor that shakes us all to the core. Find the craving need for reviving our human instinct in a way that we all learn from each other and coexist without leaving anyone out. There's more than one answer to the question of life. Each person has the sovereign right to craft their own way.


"O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes, so that you may know each other (not that you may despise each other)"- Quran CH49: V13.


Getting closer or farther apart isn't a choice we make. If that were the case, we would've chosen our fate. Life would've been much more comfortable. We think we choose our paths, but we keep sliding into unexpected deviations. We have zero control over our past, present, and future. Looking back, it's almost impossible to say that you had control over your history or that circumstances went the way you wanted it to be. What makes the future any different? All we have is the present. No one gets more or less than what they are meant to have. People are going back and forth, passing their days mindlessly, following a routine, bonding, colliding, and separating from each other in an endless cycle of hope and despair. Who found peace of mind? Some exhibit it better than others, some hide it, and some don't know how to get there or where to start. One thing that we all have in common is the expression of our undying desire to reach that state of harmony.


Although others surround us, we walk alone like phantoms amongst an ocean of spirits. No matter who we are with, we always go to sleep alone, transcending to a second life known as dreams. We try to hold on to the ghostly emotion of our memories. We unknowingly lead our soul down memory lane and follow unwanted footsteps. There was a time where a dear person made you believe they would give their all. What follows is always unexpected, never as anticipated. It feels like an endless fall. Everything changes, yet everything is still the same. Our world is turned around, and along the way, our lives become ever more entwined. We live as one in many hearts. The promises we make are about two worlds uniting, not two worlds colliding, yet I'm trying to tell you more about both worlds. The best thing I've learned is to take life less seriously. We're only visitors to this realm, after all; therefore, we need to make it count. We need to be remembered in a way that means good for us as individuals, and humanity as a whole.


Years pass by, and we believe that we've moved on, became whole, and stronger. There's a degree of truth to that, of course, but then have you measured your wholeness relative to the time you felt weak? We have to place what caused the pain to begin with under scrutiny. Only then you'll realize what you thought was dead and gone, is revived by the substance of a single glance. Years of memories rush back, old promises surface, and visions of what made you stronger flow through your veins, but also visuals of that initial hope fading away. A momentary glance is worth a thousand words. There's no need for conversations. In those moments, life force rains and reigns. Bittersweet sensations run through our bodies. Shall we get closer, or will we get burnt again?


Is it contradicting to shed tears while promoting peace of mind? If not, why are tears necessary? Aren't they a product of chaotic thoughts? Tornadoes have a calm "eye" in the center. It's an area of complete stillness close to the center of the vortex. You need to find the eye of your storm — the sweet tranquil spot right in the heart of turmoil. You see, tears are always followed by a brink of hope deeply engraved within us. If they don't escape, we'll remain in an enclosure surrounded by the pain of delusion. Pain is the factor that propels us to better ourselves. It is the stimulus that uplifts our souls from naivety to wisdom. It's what we should welcome with open arms to bring about the best versions of ourselves. The best variant is an ongoing process, though, and we never reach an ideal destination. The notion of perfection is non-existent because perfection is another interpretation of the infinite. And the life of this world is finite.


We are in constant pursuit of betterment; therefore, pain is required, and tears are necessary for breakthroughs. Any connection with zero pain points to a stagnant relationship absent from growth. Go with the choices that scare you the most, as these are ones that will help you grow. This is common in psychology when trying to overcome a phobia; you must face it to bypass it. It must be incorporated into our lives throughout all stages. Look for the undistracted to fight for the light of truth. We can't remain motionless, so we naturally gravitate towards pain. We can't lose that feeling of pain, as the minute ends it's only momentarily; masking itself in a new cycle of happiness prompt for the following provocation. We become impatient with disputes, and we think when we remove people from our lives, the pain will fade away. That's not true! Facing the pain will only make you braver because guess what, it will come back again wearing a different hat. Running away is not the solution. The more significant the challenge, the harder we fall. The more terrifying the drop, the more you grow. Do not be afraid of the deep dark void. Embrace the fall, and you'll be the hero of your own story.


The space-time continuum applies to our everyday lives. Past, present, and future all exist at the same time. The past never really disappears. It lingers inside our minds, in our present. Time rewinds to anomalous memories, and the mind keeps playing the same snippets over and over again. An old love, travel recollections, childhood memories, school/university years, or something as simple as a kind gesture. The idea of going forward by leaving the past behind is an illusion. The very reason we are who we are today is because of the past; there is no running away; nothing will change that. And nothing will change you. The universe was created from waves of motion that sprung from stillness and returns to stillness. As Einstein once said, "Things change on the surface, but deep down, they remain the same." Pain isn't an obstacle we should overcome; pain is just a road we walk on, an essential element carved on bricks we cannot skip.


We can age, grow apart, change. But the soul remains the same... unchanged. Eternal. If Love is the right-wing then pain is the left-wing, and together they lift the soul to higher ground. No matter how much time passes, a parent is always a parent. A son/daughter remains a child in a parent's eyes; a good friend will forever remain one even if they turn bitter, they shall be forgiven. Lovers are always lovers, no matter how they barrelled into each other. All relationships go through love and pain with respect to intensity and rate of growth. We perceived life differently a few years ago from how we perceive it now. Will we recognize ourselves today ten years into the future? How will we view the past? Where will life take us, and who will accompany us on this odyssey? If we don't learn to be forgiving, we won't have anyone around us to witness or tell our life story to. Bits and pieces of life's residue will linger in the minds of those who once meant the world to us but now turned into strangers who will never cross our paths again.


Your love made me abundant. After that knockout, nothing can compensate. Why were we lost in the breeze? Why did years pass us by like that? We silently call the night, with no disclosures or responses. Memories can turn gloomy days into untold romantic poems. Our attempts to eradicate the pain will also erase the love. That's how we think we get better; we feel no pain, and we believe we've healed. But erasing love is blasphemous. You'll stop being sensitive as to whether you're the hurt one or the one hurting. How shall we culminate love in the future, without endearing our past? Without loving the past, we'll find ourselves lost as fallen leaves twirl in the gale. The gift of forgetfulness is undoubtedly critical in healing the wound, stabbed by the daggers of life. Had we remembered the emotion of every hurtful feeling in the past, we'd perish and cross the great divide. We are only left with memories attached to love. Memories of the past leave eternal images within us unforgotten like our names, and nothing can wipe that off our minds.


Drifting in separate ways is grueling. We never believe it when it is time to say goodbye in this lifetime. Although we're worlds apart, our hearts are not so distant as they're still entangled in time. What's in mind is still in the heart, so make sure you read what's written for you in the stars. If you could hear your thoughts, never forget the loving person you were, still are, or what you'll become, as for all is one, and we are timeless souls.


Do you remember the first time you confessed your love to someone? There was an inherent and instant knowledge that this one person would change the course of your life. You let the words flow with no idea why they're being said, where they came from, or where they led as if we were living in an alluring ode. You walked till the end but realized it was just the start. The blankness behind the iris takes us to a partial dream state. We generate the dreams that guide and enchant us to multi-dimensions. Our spirit looks back at our bodies during sleep and whispers blissful lullabies. It's loud and clear if we open our ears. Lost love shall be carried in our hearts, knowing the only way to express it is not by using words but through the window of our souls.



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© 2019 by Ahmed A. Lotfy